Today I am A Moose.....

I have a beautiful child....His name is Blair . My child LOVES to swim....He will do about anything to be in the water. He takes 6 hour baths "swimming" in my corner garden tub. He will stay outside playing in the hose for hours on end. Last summer we could be found almost daily at the waterpark with our season passes in hand. It never got old.Or in the huge pool we set up in the back that destroyed the fragile grass of my yard. Last summer I didnt have a job. This summer I have to work because I have put my husband out on his ear and I am responsible for oh, so much more . No details necessary here...the less we talk about him the better.
Said ex roommate lives in one of the houses my business partner and I own and across from this house there is a BIG swimming pool!!!! It has a diving board and a park and tons of kids!!! Every time we pass this pool I think to myself. I need to investigate this pool which is walking distance from ex roommates house.
Today we investigated....It is a Moose Lodge. Hmmmm.....very interesting! Not only will this membership come with dinner any night of the week when I dont feel like cooking, cheap booze,tons of fellowship with people who are older than my parents,apparently there is also a beauty pagent where the men dress up in womens clothes...bathing suits and all (lets not delve into this too far either) and also....there are dances!!!! Now thats something I can wrap my arms around and embrace!!! I have a friend who has a band....their band plays at the Eagles lodge and my friends and I get to go and dance our asses off and in general let loose. I never feel threatened or hit on in this place because the men who ask me to dance dance in the "Glen Miller "Era of dance. smooth and light on their feet. Wisking me away to fairy princess land when the slow dances begin!
There is one fellow that is always there....always wearing the same pair of suspenders....who I always dance with. He is a hoot!!
Sometimes my girlfriends and I stick him in the middle of our dance circle.....he is such a good sport.
So as I heard about the "Dances" My heart began to race. Could I possibly find another suspendered non-threatening man to dance my nights away with?
Where do I sign up?
Right there?? On the dotted line??
I am soooooooo IN!!!!
So anyway....My child now has a place that he and my ex roommate can walk to as they spend the summer together neither of them with a job swimming to their hearts content. And I have a place to spend my Friday and Saturday nights dancing till I am dizzy and satiated and no threat of being hit on!
I have to be sworn in on Wednesday Night....apparently there is some ritual I will then be privvy to as I become a female Moose member. I hope its not like a college pledge thing. I can see it now. Geriatric women in depends with beer bongs. Telling raunchy stories as they get wasted on cheap bourbon of suspendered men. (I hope they dont ruin that one for me) . Asking me to Cat sit their twenty cats so they can go away for a weekend at the retirement villa deluxe.
I have a hard time saying no.... I am working on that though.

I already made a new friend at the pool today.. Her name was Claudia. she was 6 years older than my mom....but cute as a button!
As Blair walked up I heard him say. "Great..Mom has made a new friend".
I am so IN!!!
Please refrain from calling me Moose.
Honey Caves fits me sooooooo much better.

Blogging Etiquette

1. Never Blog about friends using their real names. especially friends who could possibly see for themselves or hear from other friends about your blog about them. Especially after a night of drinking at the local bar. You may receive that 2AM call. And not the good call Like the booty drunk dial.

2. When blogging about yourself. Make sure you are emotionally stable at the time of the writing. Make sure you havent just broken off with your mate of the last 10 months. Or that you arent trying to impress anyone but yourself. Also ensure that you reread blog in case you had changed the name and maybe accidentially wrote the right name in its place.

3. Always stick with a theme for yourself. Some bloggers are the funny bloggers, some are the I only make fun of myself bloggers, some go in for the kill and attack all living things in their sight, and still some others are just naturally witty and charming and it just shines through their writings. Never stray from your style.

4. Never write a blog about someone else whom you have heard a secret about. Especially if its a very personal secret. not only will you not be able to keep a straight face the next time you see them. But you will only find humor in their misery. And they will know you know.

5.When in a new relationship with a fellow blogger dont pour your soul out to the whole blogging community. You may find yourself the fodder of a future blog about that "crazy chick from Blog spot.com".

6. Leave innocent children, Old Men, and Fat women out of your blogs. Your words may come back to bite you one day....literally.

7. Never put your Mom in one of your blogs. She did give birth to you. I know you were only kidding , but later... you will regret it.

8.Never go out "searching" for a blog. Just let them come to you naturally. Its just safer that way.

9. Never blog out loud ....always blog in writing. There are still alot of people who dont know what a blog is exactly. And also, you will receive funny looks.

10. Never sacrifice sleep for a good blog. Sure, write cliffnotes.....write on your hand or your leg...but for Gods sake dont write delirious. It can only come back to haunt you.
Which goes back to number 2....and should also include proofreading.

Good Blogging.....Honey Caves

Blogging Virgin

Well here I am. About to pop my blogging cherry on this blogging site.
I have felt the peer pressure from my friends and I have to admit, I am a bit curious as to how it will feel. Will it just be another experience or will it forever change my virgin soul to release all the stories in my mind and from my experiences to about 23 million people? Will I feel virtually naked in a crowded room? Or will it make me lose my hangups and finally be free to "Be who I am"?
I am on Myspace , but somehow posting some intimate stories on my profile so that my 1000 plus friends can just know way too much about me is really not that appealing. So here goes.
I am here in this moment in time and I am going to take the plunge so to speak.
I have to admit I have been through more experiences than the average Joe and when I go to write one down about 60 million different experiences go running through my mind and I find it hard to choose just one.
So this may just be the release I have been searching for.
Wish me luck....
Take me for who I am....For i change for noone. I have been down that road and its so oppressive. So if you dont like my blogs...dont read them. Move onto the next person on your list I really dont need to know. They werent posted for you anyway.

Time to get practice for when I make millions of dollars for my secret offshore bank account by writing porn or doing something equally as shocking... (just kidding.....I promise to not write porn on here...) are we allowed to anyway?
Dont most men find it really cool when a girl writes porn? Am I digressing again?Why am I even talking about porn? when I should be writing...lol.
Now that I have your attention by writing the word porn at least 7 times. Maybe I should start my day and get in the shower so I can decide what my first real blog will be about while I am driving around doing what has to be done today.
Ok....I am here now....and out there.
There is no turning back now.
Honey Caves