Today I am A Moose.....

I have a beautiful child....His name is Blair . My child LOVES to swim....He will do about anything to be in the water. He takes 6 hour baths "swimming" in my corner garden tub. He will stay outside playing in the hose for hours on end. Last summer we could be found almost daily at the waterpark with our season passes in hand. It never got old.Or in the huge pool we set up in the back that destroyed the fragile grass of my yard. Last summer I didnt have a job. This summer I have to work because I have put my husband out on his ear and I am responsible for oh, so much more . No details necessary here...the less we talk about him the better.
Said ex roommate lives in one of the houses my business partner and I own and across from this house there is a BIG swimming pool!!!! It has a diving board and a park and tons of kids!!! Every time we pass this pool I think to myself. I need to investigate this pool which is walking distance from ex roommates house.
Today we investigated....It is a Moose Lodge. Hmmmm.....very interesting! Not only will this membership come with dinner any night of the week when I dont feel like cooking, cheap booze,tons of fellowship with people who are older than my parents,apparently there is also a beauty pagent where the men dress up in womens clothes...bathing suits and all (lets not delve into this too far either) and also....there are dances!!!! Now thats something I can wrap my arms around and embrace!!! I have a friend who has a band....their band plays at the Eagles lodge and my friends and I get to go and dance our asses off and in general let loose. I never feel threatened or hit on in this place because the men who ask me to dance dance in the "Glen Miller "Era of dance. smooth and light on their feet. Wisking me away to fairy princess land when the slow dances begin!
There is one fellow that is always there....always wearing the same pair of suspenders....who I always dance with. He is a hoot!!
Sometimes my girlfriends and I stick him in the middle of our dance circle.....he is such a good sport.
So as I heard about the "Dances" My heart began to race. Could I possibly find another suspendered non-threatening man to dance my nights away with?
Where do I sign up?
Right there?? On the dotted line??
I am soooooooo IN!!!!
So anyway....My child now has a place that he and my ex roommate can walk to as they spend the summer together neither of them with a job swimming to their hearts content. And I have a place to spend my Friday and Saturday nights dancing till I am dizzy and satiated and no threat of being hit on!
I have to be sworn in on Wednesday Night....apparently there is some ritual I will then be privvy to as I become a female Moose member. I hope its not like a college pledge thing. I can see it now. Geriatric women in depends with beer bongs. Telling raunchy stories as they get wasted on cheap bourbon of suspendered men. (I hope they dont ruin that one for me) . Asking me to Cat sit their twenty cats so they can go away for a weekend at the retirement villa deluxe.
I have a hard time saying no.... I am working on that though.

I already made a new friend at the pool today.. Her name was Claudia. she was 6 years older than my mom....but cute as a button!
As Blair walked up I heard him say. "Great..Mom has made a new friend".
I am so IN!!!
Please refrain from calling me Moose.
Honey Caves fits me sooooooo much better.